Maybe
Maybe he gripped the trigger so tight because it finally gave him something to hold on to
Maybe the monster that once lived in his closet latched on to his back with it’s arms wrapped around his sides
And turning his life around can only become an option once the fear subsides
Maybe he tried
And tried
And tried
And he tripped over life and found himself falling straight into the pipeline designed to remove the power he thought he once had over himself
Maybe he’s afraid to ask for help
Maybe he’s not actually who society paints him to be
A man that’s just a boy too young to put away childish things
Tested and tried like the man he’s forced to pretend to be
Maybe he’s the real victim in this world
Maybe those who judged him never had to survive naked and afraid with no option to thrive
Maybe he’s just trying to make it to tomorrow
Maybe the only thing he can feast on is his sorrow so while he watches others be hungry for success he gets to digest defeat
Maybe he’s carried by the strength of his spirit because his body is weak
Maybe he’s none of those things
Maybe he’s really a king dressed just like you and me
Wearing a costume to test our ability to see past what we see
Maybe we are so close to the promised land but the milk and honey are starting to dry
And after 400 years we still can’t get it right
Maybe he isn’t the problem at all
Maybe he’s ready to jump off a mountain with wings of faith but we think he’s going to fall
So we hold him back all in the name of love
Or what we think love should be
Maybe he’s the only one that’s really free
Maybe
Author:
Jillian Hanesworth
Jillian Hanesworth was born and raised on the East side of Buffalo, NY. She began writing at the age of 7, when she would write songs for her mother to sing in church. She later took a break from writing to successfully pursue educational goals, and worked to obtain a BA in criminal justice and law focusing on reform.
Currently, Jillian is the Director of Leadership Development at Open Buffalo - a non profit organization focusing on racial, economic, and ecological justice, and a teaching artist with the Dunbar Project at Ujima Theater. She is the recipient of the 2020 Alt-imate Activist award presented by the WNY Peace Center, as well as a 2021 Buffalo Business First 30 under 30 awardee. Jillian is also the first ever Poet Laureate in the history of Buffalo after she spent 2 years advocating for the existence of the role. Jillian loves and lives for the community and exemplifies that in all that she does.